The Birmingham Egg Adventure

30 March 2005 - Perth, Western Australia

STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE - Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include the BIRMINGHAM EGG - Take 5 scotch eggs, cut in half and cover in masala sauce. Place in Balti dish and serve with naan and/or chips. We'll send a b3ta t-shirt to anyone who cooks this up, eats it and makes a lovely little photo log / write up of their adventure.
B3ta Newsletter Issue 175

There are only two people brave foolhardy enough to attempt this mission: nursing student and b3ta member Lyall Furphy (a.k.a. admiral_t), and medical student David Adam. We accepted the challenge because "we love adventure, multicultural food and free t-shirts".

Exterior shot of Fresh ProvisionsFresh Provisions: A 24-hour supermarket located in the affluent suburb of Claremont in Perth, Western Australia.

Prevelance of yuppies: endemic.

Being able to buy goat cheese and a pack of condoms at 2 AM after a night on the piss is very important in this neighbourhood.

Girl at deli counter serving Scotch eggs Getting some service at the Fresh Provisions deli.
"What are you going to do with that photo?"

Ingredients

Scotch eggs on breadboardTins and bottles of ingredients

SAFETY FIRST!

Label of Patak's curry jar: IT IS IMPORTANT THAT THIS PRODUCT IS NOT CONSUMED UNCOOKED

Method

Sauce in pot (looks like vomit)
Just throw everything in a pot and cook it up.

Well, there might be a bit more to it than that. It's all superfluous - onward to the exciting part.

Final Preparations

Pouring sauce on egg and chips
My mouth is watering. No, really.

We absolutely ladeled the Masala sauce on. Gotta love that curry!

Here Goes Nothing

David and Lyall preparing to dine
How bad can it be?

Pretty bad, as it turned out. Lyall was unimpressed.

A happy Lyall, before An unhappy Lyall, after

Close-up of half-eaten Birmingham egg
WHAT HAVE WE CREATED?!?

Well, David's not too keen on it either.

David screwing his face up

The Aftermath

Finishing the plate was something of a struggle. We got there... eventually.

Almost empty plate of Birmingham egg
Proof that we did, in fact, finish the whole lot.

However, it's not the world's best feeling...

David looking sick

Oh, Come On. No-One Would Be That Dumb.

Ladies and gentlemen, the dastardly masterminds complete idiots who decided that this might actually be a good idea:

David Adam and Lyall Furphy (wearing apron), posing with cooking implements
David Adam (L) and Lyall Furphy, in the calm before the storm

One day, your life may be in the hands of these model citizens. (Both are Queen's Scouts.)