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#8414 Up↑ /4 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-22 16:52 WST
< amoeba> then you get those guys who do themselves up in leopard body paint and have sex. and then post pictures of it on the internet. apparently leopards have opposable thumbs now
< zarquin> how useful
< amoeba> i would have thought it'd smudge or something and then you'd just have two leopard-coloured smudges having sex
< Gretel> wait till the paint dries?
< amoeba> that's not paint, i'm afraid
< Gretel> hm. I remember in high school that if you wanted to draw patterns on yourself you'd spray hairspray over it to keep it from smudging
<@Zanchey> ...
< thebmw> there are some places I don't want to think about hair spray going
< amoeba> for everything else, there's mastercard -
#8281 Up↑ /5 Down↓ [Report] 2008-06-27 08:58 WST
<zarquin> i'll show you my string
<zarquin> theory
<thebmw> zarquin: the girls tell me it's not as big as it's cracked up to be
<zarquin> i tie-r of these false accusations
<zarquin> i wonder who roped them into saying that
<thebmw> it was part of a multi-threaded conversation
<harrymc> zarquin: give you enough ..
<thebmw> but the who is knot terribly important
<zarquin> i was a-fray-d of rhtat
<zarquin> i don't think i can strand it any longer...
<kadeton> that was a dreadful line
<kadeton> totally dis-cord-ant
<thebmw> kadeton seems to have cottoned on to our conversation now
<kadeton> indeed, I'm having a ball
<thebmw> though he's perhaps being a bit of a granny about it
<zarquin> it's reel-y quite bad
<kadeton> quit your twining
<cameron> it's more knit-picking really
<zarquin> weave really got to get a grip on where we're going
<thebmw> but also put some more hemp-phasis on where we've already been
<^spyn> i am going to sew you all for making such bad puns
<thebmw> typical of spyn to cut us off
<harrymc> spyn should stop his twining -
#8239 Up↑ /7 Down↓ [Report] 2008-05-13 00:40 WST
19:47 < sjy> hmmm. i locked the snack machine, and now i can't open it again. :(
19:47 < sjy> the key is really dodgy
19:48 < shmookey> the lock is also very stiff
19:48 < shmookey> bit of lube would probably help
19:48 < zarquin> anil aparently has a lot at his place
19:49 < sjy> there was a much better joke just waiting to be made there
19:50 < zarquin> maybe you just need to play with the lock a bit more to get it warmed up? :p
19:50 < shmookey> you probably shouldn't go straight for the lock anyway
19:50 < shmookey> play with the keypad a bit first
19:52 < sjy> well, that time i went a little more gently to start with, then rammed it in hard; opened that bitch right up
19:52 * zarquin stops playing this game -
#8015 Up↑ /3 Down↓ [Report] 2008-04-23 13:45 WST
<trs80> the Christian Coalition suggested that all bandwidth problems could be fixed by simply offering fewer porn video-on-demand channels and using them for Internet traffic instead.
<thebmw> ... where they can simply be used for porn anyway
<thebmw> genius!
<amoeba> the christian coalition can lick my balls
<amoeba> well not really i dont want fundamentalist christians anywhere near me let alone my balls
<The_Dan> needs more jesus porn
<amoeba> of course - those nails on the cross leave some handy holes.
<thebmw> yeah, I heard he liked getting nailed
<thebmw> and he could stay up for days
<amoeba> oh no we're going to hell
<thebmw> meh
<The_Dan> and rise again soon after
<zarquin> he was a bit of a (t)horny bastard
<thebmw> it really would be the holy grail of porn
<The_Dan> biblical proportions
<thebmw> for sure, they'll celebrate it every year -
#109 Up↑ /18 Down↓ [Report] 2007-08-28 11:36 WST
< shmookey> fish oil tablets look revolting
< shmookey> why do they have to have pictures of fish on them?
< jacques> mine don't have pictures of fish on them
< shmookey> the "no fishy reflux!" label doesn't help either
< shmookey> it's almost like they're saying "(nearly) no fishy reflux"
< prothoss> shmookey: the fish might come from that fact that the tablets come from fish... just a hing
< prothoss> hing... hmm... nope, no clue what I was actually trying to put there...
< jacques> whatever it was
< jacques> it was fishy
< shmookey> if you hadn't have floundered I'd have just accepted it
< zarquin> hmm, what a sordid tail
< jacques> does it scale?
< zarquin> i fin-k so
< shmookey> is this the best you guys cod do?
< zarquin> i'd have to hook it up
< shmookey> these puns are total carp
< jacques> well
< jacques> things don't always go swimmingly
< zarquin> eeeh. stop sitting up there on your perch
< shmookey> I think you need kelp
< shmookey> you're mentally eel
< zarquin> i sea.
< jacques> no need for salty language